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Eight Ways to Win at Online Dating, Part One

For the next 4 weeks, I’m going to give you my best insider tips on how to succeed online. But what does that mean? Basically, to be successful at online dating, you need to have the right tools, knowledge, and attitude. Any one of these three elements can make or break your experience.

Is Online Dating Painful or Powerful?

If you’ve ever dated online than you know how scary, uncomfortable and exhausting it can be. Then why do it? Because it’s a great way (though not the only way) to get yourself out there and meet people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. There are way too many people who’ve met online to completely ignore its impact.

On the other hand, it can be disastrous, and a real downer if you don’t know what you’re doing. Haven’t had much luck with your online dating profile? Feeling rejected and disappointed? Did you blame the website? The lack of quality men that were on that site? Your age? Looks? The Internet itself? I encourage you to step back and take a deeper look during the next 4 weeks to take stock and see if you’ve approached it in the right way, and made the most of the process.

Getting Started

1. Choose The Right Site For You (and Stick With it a While)

Your age, location, education, personality, and interests all play a huge role on which dating site to choose. Match.com feels like the #1 Internet bar scene due to its popularity and brand. It tends to cater to a younger crowd in their twenties and thirties, even though you’ll see profiles from all ages (even the 60 year old eternally divorce’ looking for the 30 year old hot girl). Google each site and see which one appeals the most to you. There is no such thing as the best dating site-only the site that’s right for you. I covered this topic in brief here, with some examples of the various types of dating sites. You’ll have tremendous success with one, but perhaps not another. Start with one and then switch when you feel it’s run its course. I recommend giving each dating site at least 6 months if not one year. Don’t give up too soon! Patience is required for your love life and online dating is no different.

2. Choose Great Photos

No, we don’t need to see you skiing down a black diamond slope. Yes, we know you want to show us how athletic and well traveled you are, but that’s what your profile is for, not your photos. Your photos are meant to show your looks and your body type. They are there to give a man a good idea of what you’re going to look like when you walk into the room. Men are visual creatures so you want to make a big splash with your photos. Like it or not, men notice this first and will click to another profile if you don’t present an attractive image. Think about it like this: your photos are to show your own personal beauty; your profile is to show your unique personality.

Want to really stand out? Get professional photos done. In my office, I look at hundreds of profile submissions every month and I quickly breeze past the profiles that don’t have clear, attractive photos. I just don’t have the time to imagine what a woman looks like and neither does anyone else. The gals that tend to be called in for a meeting with me are the one’s that took the time to represent themselves in a lovely way. It shows respect for me, my clients and their own personal pride. Those blurry small images with you and your friends in a bar drinking chardonnay are doing nothing for you. If you feel too busy/lazy to choose excellent photos then you’re simply not giving this your all. One more month of not having a profile up while you’re waiting on photos is not going to kill anyone’s dating life!

Wondering how many photos to choose? Choose only 3 photos (less is more):

  1. A head shot that clearly shows your face, hair down, smiling, friendly, and warm.
  2. A Dating attire shot with you in a cocktail dress, heels, jewelry or basically what you would wear if you were headed to a romantic date. Bottom line here? Look gorgeous!
  3. A Casual photo of you, only better. No hats, work out gear, sunglasses, costumes or self-portraits taken with your iPhone in your bathroom please!

Don’t overdo the amount of photos. This is just an introduction to inspire interest. Keep it simple!

Okay, ready to jump in? Remember, this is your personal life and nothing is more valuable and important. Agree? You’ll never know how successful you can be at online dating unless you give it your all!

Next Friday I’ll be sharing what to say (and not say) in your profile and how to relax and have fun with it, so be sure to check back in here on the blog. To your successful dating! Knock em’ dead, ladies!

Continue Reading Part Two

Much love,
April