September is “Self-Improvement Month.” Can you believe it? An entire month dedicated to working on ourselves.
For most people, this isn’t just one month. It’s constant, daily, hard work striving to achieve enlightenment, happiness, success. Classes, books, vision boards, retreats — it goes on and on. And for women in particular, it seems expected that some form of self-improvement is always underway.
I look at this differently and I invite you to do the same.
What’s Wrong With Being Better?
You’ll hear me say this a lot in my blogs and videos: I don’t believe anyone should change. Instead, I believe the way we think about ourselves, the events and the people around us can use a tweak. A slight adjustment of the lens, not an entirely new camera.
Why? Because who you are is already great! Are you perfect? No! But who is? And who wants to be?
The problem is that most people haven’t taken enough time to get to know themselves. They choose to focus on how to be better or how to be different. As if life is a constant grind of never relaxing, never being satisfied, never getting to the top of the mountain.
In addition, “self-improvement” is an $11 billion dollar industry. What would happen to the economy if we actually felt happy about ourselves for one second? This is why everywhere we look we’re being told we just aren’t quite good enough. Keep improving, never stop.
I don’t know about you, but that’s exhausting. From time to time, I need a little vacay from creating a better April!
Self-Knowledge: The Real Key to Happiness
So what’s the difference between the oft-heralded “self-improvement,” and true self-knowledge, which I encourage instead?
Reflection. Faith. Trust.
We are all “created equal” but we came into this big beautiful world on different footing. We were given our personal gifts and talents, born into varied family backgrounds, and then exposed to unique experiences and varied points of view, ultimately becoming the person we are today. So the paths we’ll travel up any mountain are as unique as we are.
I love that you read my blogs and watch my videos, but I want you to find your own voice. My goal is to help you discover what your voice sounds like. To help you trust yourself, and tune into your own heartbeat, understanding your own personal thoughts, dreams and values. This is where you’re going to gain your self-knowledge, and in so doing, define and embrace your own unique brand of you.
So…? Just Stop.
This weekend, take a break from trying to be the “better” version of you and just be the “real” you. It hasn’t been the core of your being that’s led you astray. If you aren’t where you want to be when it comes to relationships (or anything else), it’s not because you need to be “better.” It’s because of all the stuff that’s piled on top of your unique and natural way, keeping you from getting what you most want and need out of this lifetime. Dating, love, career, family — it all depends on how well you know you.
I encourage you to ask yourself some deep questions and be patient (and brave) enough to wait for the answers. Reflect on your past, have faith in your future, and trust that you are loveable and amazing just as you are.