Ready to spring into spring? Nature’s beautiful celebration of renewal is unfolding all around us, making this the perfect time to do a little spring-cleaning for your love life!
To make the most of the romantic opportunities offered by the season, your attitude and confidence need to be as fresh and new as everything else spring brings. Which is why this month, on the Friday Takeaway, I’ll be giving you a five-part strategy for undergoing your own transformation, and getting you squarely on the path to a great relationship.
This Week: Out With the Old
Is the pain from any previous relationship still lingering in your closet? If so, I’m giving you permission to put it in a box and give it to Goodwill! (Not that they want it, but you get my point.) It could be haunting your subconscious, or hanging on you like an old sweater, sending the wrong messages and keeping you stuck. It’s impossible to have a clear head and be fully open to future possibilities when you haven’t forgiven the past and put it behind you.
Here’s my advice to anyone in that situation: don’t wait to find a new relationship to make you feel better. Feel better so you can find a new relationship! Because losing time and sleep over an old relationship is not only going to take you off the market, but it isn’t allowing you to thrive. And you have a right to be happy!
It’s time to make space for someone new, and you can only do that if you’re truly willing to let go, heal and create room for your future.
Three Tough-Love Steps to Clearing the Way For Starting Fresh
1. Take Responsibility
This means for your initial choices in Mr. Yesterday, and your participation in relationships past. Playing the blame game ultimately doesn’t serve you, and it actually stops your growth as a woman. Think about that: you cannot grow if you don’t own your part in what has happened and learn from it. Of course you don’t deserve it if a man has hurt you, cheated on you, or hasn’t treated you appropriately. But you invited this person into your life, and that’s what you need to acknowledge. This step, which requires a dose of frank self-reflection, is all about empowering yourself. When you assume responsibility, you take control and make a decision to be smarter about your choices in the future.
2. Forgive, But Don’t Forget
Despite how it feels sometimes, people aren’t out there to hurt you. We simply run into others and connect with them at different times in their self-development journey and yes, some are further down the path of growth than others. Forgiveness is the key to moving on. Forgive him. Forgive yourself. But don’t forget. It’s important that you learn from every relationship experience in order to create what you want with each new opportunity!
3. Face the Facts
Make a list of what your previous relationships brought you. Take a careful and honest look at the good, the bad and the ugly. Have you noticed we tend to romanticize past relationships the longer we’re away from them? This time, instead, tap into what worked and what didn’t. Be practical. Analyze. Ask yourself: would you choose this man again?
Above all, when clearing out the old — realize that your past relationships didn’t fail, nor were either of you a failure. Your relationships each simply evolved into what they were meant to be. Each ran its course and no matter how long lasting, each did indeed have a beginning, middle and an end. Each was what it was: a part of your journey.
Be happy that you felt, experienced, loved, grew and learned more about yourself!
Gratitude for what your relationships have taught you will build your fortitude and make you wiser. Getting closure on these experiences will serve you well, and get you out there with a fresh outlook, allowing you to be open to new opportunities! Let’s get that spring back in your step!