Date smart. Sign up for April's
advice in your inbox.

A Personal Message and a Welcome to 2014!

Here we are. The first day of 2014.

I used to wonder why every year so many people were excited to get past the previous year and move into a new one. “Well, Thank God that year is over!” friends and family have said with an air of exhaustion and resignation.

It made me sad that an entire year of someone’s life could get a bad rap. After all, isn’t time a gift? Who are we to just wish it away, simply because it didn’t go as we planned?

Joy and Challenges

This time, I think I understand. I won’t go as far as saying good riddance to 2013. There were many beautiful things that happened this past year. I hosted a show on VH1, three of my amazing clients got engaged, I celebrated four years of marriage with my husband, and I’m sure many other things made 2013 worthwhile, including some that are likely escaping me at the moment.

But these milestones were the in-between moments of what was essentially a lot of hard work, stress and perseverance. Before I knew it, the holidays were here. This year, I didn’t have to time to shop for presents, let alone breathe. Can you relate?

This was the first time in years that it didn’t even seem like the holidays. And then something else happened: my family endured a crisis that left a layer of sadness in all of us. We are all okay now, but it was a scary time for the Beyer family.

I found myself telling someone today, “Well, I’m glad that year is over!”

Letting Go Of the “Perfect Finish”

For the last two weeks of the year, I’d been looking forward to catching up on sleep, my writing, some alone time with my husband, and generally relaxing, but like so many people have mentioned to me in the past, it just felt like I was running a long race. It seemed like I and everyone I know was racing the clock to get things done before Christmas and the New Year.

And strangely enough, this year more than ever before, I encountered the irrational pressure people put on themselves when single during the holidays. The result is always the same: widespread panic.

In my line of work, this translates into dozens of urgent calls and emails right up to the wire of Christmas. Everyone wanting a date, love, a partner, insights that shine a light on their dating blind spots, help getting over an ex, you name it. It’s almost as if everyone felt like the mystery of dating had to be solved before December 25th.

Instead of “the holidays,” this time of year becomes a marathon where everyone needs to be in top condition to get to the finish line.

A Commitment to Ourselves

So, here we are. December 25th has come and gone, as has December 31st.

It’s a new year filled with anticipation, excitement and a fresh start. We made it. It wasn’t easy but we did it.

You worked really hard this past year, too. How do I know this? Because every woman I know is a superwoman who takes on far more than she should. We live in an era where we have no time, and yet we wish away what time gives us, and find ourselves ducking under the soft cover of our 500-thread-count duvets in an effort to have even a moment of peace and solitude.

Let’s remember this: no one said we had to work this hard. We can’t expect the road to love and happiness with ourselves to be paved in glitter and fairy dust. But — it can be easier. We can embrace the highs and the lows, taking what they offer us, without pushing ourselves harder than we should.

Make the Minutes Count

Let’s all vow to keep a promise to ourselves this year to be kind, loving, compassionate, forgiving and nurturing. Toward others of course, but primarily toward the most important person in your life: YOU.

Last year gave us each new knowledge, insights, and experience, while adding another rich layer to our lives. Let’s not wish that away. Embrace it, and let it go. Every minute, every hour, every day is your friend. Make each one count.

Have a wonderful 2014, and may you make the most of whatever comes your way. As always, I’m wishing you new beginnings and lasting relationships!

Hugs and peace,

Leave Your Comment:

Or Comment Via Facebook: