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Dating the Same Kind of Guy Over and Over? And OVER?

Phil: Something is… different.
?Rita: Good or bad?
Phil: Anything different is good.

A great quote from the 1993 film Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell.

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, and it reminded me how often we can feel like we’re just repeating the same day over and over — same guy, same relationship patterns, same issues. Have you ever felt this way?

You may realize it’s a pattern that isn’t rewarding and want so badly to wake up and open your eyes to a new day, but for some reason nothing changes. But why? You’re not crazy. You certainly think more of yourself than this. You know better! So why is it that you can’t stop attracting the same men?

The answer is simple. You haven’t changed your “guy type palette.”

Let me guess:

The men who could be really good for you, you’re just not attracted to, while the one’s you find exciting and sexy always leave you dazed and confused. Sound familiar? Well, believe it or not, you are casting, writing and directing this film — so you’re more in control than you might know.

Three steps to rewriting the script and getting out of your own Groundhog Day:

Step One. This weekend I want you to take stock and write down the traits of the last five men you’ve dated that didn’t work for you. What did these men have in common? Are they similar? Can you describe why they were drawn to you? Why were you drawn to them?

Step Two. What is the lasting feeling you have about each of those men? Lost? Sad? Confused? Write it down!

Step Three. Now attach those emotions to the less than wonderful traits of these men. If you’re paying attention to your “relationship hangover,” you’ll start to realize why you must steer clear of the concoction that made you feel so awful the next day.

It’s really that simple to identify what isn’t working for you. But this exercise in pinpointing the negative traits is only the beginning. Retraining your brain to avoid those bad-for-you types, while developing a new “type palette,” is where the hard work comes in. The men with those traits aren’t good for you? WALK AWAY next time you encounter one. Identify the traits that will work for you, and then PRACTICE connecting only to those high quality men. It will be worth it so don’t give up!

Now I want to hear from you. Participate with me on this one and share how you’ve been able to change your life for the better when it comes to men. What kinds of men will you no longer settle for? What traits are you going to be looking for? I want to know and I’m here to help. We have an amazing community of like-minded women, so don’t be shy. We have much to learn from each other. I’ll be reading all of your posts.

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

P.S. I’m here to help you get ready for love in 2013. Join me in March and get the advice that has already helped thousands of women all over the country to be Smart, Sexy and Soulful.

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