So many times we hear men or women say they “just knew” when they met “the one.” That’s what Sarah’s question is about today:
Thank you for all of your wonderful advice and encouragement. Your warmth, authenticity, and intelligence are inspiring. I feel so much more grounded and comfortable in the presence of men after listening to you! I wonder if you would be willing to talk a bit about your own experience with your husband, and speak to the long asked question, “How do you know?” You meet and spend time with many wonderful men. What set your husband apart from the rest for you, and how might women like me (who haven’t made the wisest choices in men in the past) learn from your experience?
Sarah, I must say, this is the one of the most interesting questions I’ve been asked in a long time! Thank you for your most gracious comments; I’m filled with joy that my work has inspired you.
It’s true, I meet a lot of very dynamic, interesting, quality men in my world. Both personally and professionally. The single men I work with in my matchmaking business are truly exceptional, and that raised the bar with the men I dated when I was single.
When I met my husband, “I just knew.” In fact, our first date changed everything for me. Right away, we were both invested, equally interested, and excited, and yet — there was a sense of calm and comfort along with all the wonderful chemistry. For me, that was important. I needed to feel completely comfortable with the man I chose.
I was also looking for a man who shared my family values, and who was someone I could trust. My husband Todd showed me this right away, by being solid, honest and real. For me, that was SEXY. I didn’t want a mysterious man who played games. I instantly trusted Todd, and by the end of our first date, I knew I would see him again.
From my fifteen years of experience as a Matchmaker and Dating Expert, I know that when love happens, it happens quickly. There was never a moment of question with Todd, nor did I worry about his dedication to me. Yes, even after that first date. My mother reminded me just the other day that I called her that evening and said, “I’ve just met the man I’m going to marry.”
What’s Right for You
We are all different, Sarah. So what’s important to me, may be different from what’s important for you. My advice is to get in touch with your needs and emotions and make sure they are aligned. Have a full understanding of what is most important to you (your values) and trust your heart (emotions and feelings). Remember, there’s no such thing as the perfect man or woman. There is only someone who is perfect for YOU.
Yes, I do think it’s possible to meet someone and “just know.” Does that happen all the time? No. But if you have your head and heart in the right place, that will strengthen your intuition and help you to be receptive to the right person.
Sarah, I so appreciate your question. It touches me that you’d be interested in my journey to help you gain insight into your own. I hope this has been helpful for you today.