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Eight Questions to Ask on a First Date, Part One

It’s Friday! Whether you have a hot date this weekend or not, I have a fun and rewarding exercise for you to do. Every day I’m asked what’s appropriate to ask on a first date and what is off limits. There seems to be a ton of confusion so I wanted to do a What to Ask on a Date series for the entire month of LOVE. To start you out, I have two questions that are definitely in the wheelhouse of acceptable first date conversation, and also have the added benefit of getting you vital information without making you feel like you’re conducting an interview.

Want to know if this new man in your life has your sense of humor? Curious to know if he’s loyal? I’ve got two great ways for you to do this.

Here we go!

1. To Find Out If You Share The Same Sense of Humor

We all love the man who can make us laugh. You might be surprised to know that some men don’t show their humor on a first date. I’ve been with my husband for 5 years and I’m just learning how funny he really is. Here’s a quick and easy way to discover if you have a similar sense of humor. Ask:

What movie made you laugh the hardest? If he says “The Jerk” starring Steve Martin, you’ll get a sense of his palate for clever, classic comedy. If he mentions a film like “Seven Psychopaths” or “Django Unchained” you’ll know there’s an edge to his humor. Whereas something like Wes Anderson’s “Moonrise Kingdom”, or Mike Birbiglia’s “Sleepwalk With Me,” indicates a sweet, boyish sense of humor. If he can’t think of at least one film that made him laugh out loud, then you might be dealing with someone who’s more serious.

2. To Find Out If He’s Loyal

Never, ever ask a man if he was faithful or loyal in his last relationship. First, you don’t know him well enough for him to be honest and tell the truth. Secondly, it’s none of your business. Remember, you’re not on a date to QUALIFY him or TEST him, you’re just there to learn about him.

The best way to find out if he’s a loyal soul is to ask: Who are your closest friends?

You’ll want to ask how long he has known them. Are these friends from college? If so, that’s a good sign, as being good at keeping his non-romantic relationships going indicates he can sustain a long love relationship. Discover who these people in his life are and ask why he feels loyal to them. Is it just because they have history? Are these friends truly deserving of his loyalty? It’s great information that gives you insight into his character, so don’t deny yourself these moments by skipping through to other topics and questions. Stay on this one for a while. He’ll appreciate your interest in his closest friends, as well as the fact that you’re interested in knowing more about him.

So here’s your Friday Takeaway:

If you have a date this weekend, I want you to focus on just these two topics. Build on these moments and you’ll quickly see how you can make a real connection in a relatively short amount of time, all while gathering important data!

Questions about today’s exercise? Not to worry. Post your thoughts right here on the blog and I’ll support you in any way I can. If you DON’T have a date this weekend, I want you to practice on a friend or new person in your life. Most people never take the time to really ask the important questions and stay on the topic without moving on to twenty other mindless questions. Keep it simple. Have fun with this and remember to come back and let me know in the comments what happened out there in your fantastic world! I’ll be here when you get back!

Continue Reading Part 2 Now:

Wishing you New Beginnings and Lasting Relationships!
April Beyer Signature

P.S. We’re gearing up for my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ course, which teaches you everything you need to know to find the guy that’s perfect for you! Sign up to be notified when early registration opens, and you’ll be treated to some fascinating preview material that will help you build your dating smarts!

P.P.S. As you know I’ve been an exclusive Matchmaker for 15 years and founder of Beyer & Company where I consult for the country’s most influential marriage-minded men. Here is your opportunity to complete a private & confidential dating profile for my network of amazing women at no charge. Take a look to learn more and sign up for free today!

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