You can always spot people on a first date by how awkward they are or how polite their behavior is. What if you could make a first date look like you’ve been together for months, simply by connecting on a deeper level right away? Forget your idea of what a first date should look like and stop worrying about the rules. Why? Because there aren’t any! There’s only you and the person sitting across from you.
You can actually choose to make each date extraordinary and special. You just need a few tools. This week’s Friday Takeaway is part-three of my month-long series Eight Questions to Ask on a First Date.
Last week I told you how to find out if he’s adventurous and how to suss out his goals in life. This week we’re discussing compatibility and relationship readiness. In other words, he may be a great guy, but is he compatible with you, and is he someone who’s actually ready to be in a serious relationship?
Believe it or not, there are quick and easy ways to discover this. Here’s how:
5. To Find Out If You’re Compatible
What gets you out of bed on the weekend? Compatibility is about you just as much as him, so you have to do a self-quiz here first. What do you want or need from a relationship? Think about your goals, values, morals, outlook on life — and also things that are heart and soul based. You can be in a relationship with someone, read the same books, both love to ski and hike and have the same pet peeves, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lifetime compatible. What motivates you outside of your work? You don’t have to be the same person, but you do have to have a similar energy and passion for how you celebrate life. Think BIG picture to be sure you find your Mr. Right, not just your Mr. Right Now.
6. To Find Out If He’s Ready To Be In a Serious Relationship
What was your longest relationship? If he can’t tell you about three or four women in his past that meant something to him, this could mean trouble. If he does mention a couple of exes, you actually want him to say good things about them. This shows maturity on his part.
I see too many women who would prefer a guy hate on his ex rather than say loving things about her. This is small thinking and will not serve you. Think about it this way, would you hire anyone who didn’t have prior work experience? No! So, why would you want to be with a man who hasn’t experienced a significant relationship with an incredible woman like yourself?
That’s another important factor. He should have dated and loved someone that is close to your personality. It’s not a compliment if he says he’s never connected with a woman until he laid eyes on you. That means amateur hour and you’re too busy in your life to teach someone how to make a commitment.
Remember, break the “rules” and ask these questions with sincerity and interest. If they come from a genuine place, they will be received well. Who knows, you just might save yourself a lot of wasted time with the wrong man or even better, find yourself falling for Mr. Lifetime Wonderful.
Questions and comments? Would love to hear from you. Show me some love on the blog and let’s chat! Or, you can find part four of the series here.