Date smart. Sign up for April's
advice in your inbox.

How Getting Older Helps Your Love Life

Earlier this week, my brother invited me and my husband Todd to attend a performance of the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl. At first, I felt too busy to take him up on it, but at the last minute I decided that, despite my crowded schedule, a night in box seats listening to beautiful music under the stars was exactly what I needed!

The music being performed was “The Resurrection Symphony.” Have you ever heard it? This was my first time hearing Mahler, and although I’m partial to French and Italian composers, I had a huge appreciation for the mood that was created and the journey we all went on for ninety minutes. The piece questions life, death and the concept of rebirth.

Time is Nature’s Investment in Us.

As I felt myself relaxing into the moment, I started noticing something. Most of the people who could afford box seats were more established types ― clearly at a point in their career when they were able to take advantage of the rewards that come from hard work. On stage, members of the philharmonic were also adults on the more mature end of the spectrum. Even the members of the chorus, and the vocal soloists were grown-ups, waiting patiently and supportively for the few moments when their voices were required, though much of their time on stage was spent simply sitting still.

It makes me wonder why it’s so hard for some of us to accept ourselves, and be at peace with where we are in our lives. It takes years to develop talent, years to afford the luxuries in life, and years to figure ourselves out so we can be the best partner to someone. Time is our friend. Not our enemy.

Every day I get phone calls, emails, Facebook messages and other communication from women ages twenty-five to fifty-five and beyond, who seem to think life is passing them by. One day I can hear from a woman who is twenty-nine, worried she’s missed her window of opportunity, only to get the exact same call the next day from a woman who is fifty. Both have the same fear and concern. Two completely different women at different stages of life. One thing they clearly have in common, however, is an outdated idea that women have an expiration date.

This just shows me that it’s not age that stops you from having what you want. It’s the fear of age, and what it may or may not represent.

Be Not Afraid. Instead, Be Awesome.

Understand that the present is all you have, and that embracing it, enjoying it to the fullest, is a much better choice than lamenting that you are no longer an age you were a few years (or even a few decades) ago. If you’re still single, trust that you’ve been developing your own story. It’s so much better to write your own life than to have someone write it for you. Trust me, you’ll be so much happier in the long run when you finally do meet the man of your dreams.

The biggest misconception about my career is that I’m just dealing with singles, dating and new love. Not the case. I deal with a lot of divorce, and the chaos and pain that comes with it. Most of the time, the divorces were directly attributed to getting married too young, before one or both parties were truly ready or knowledgeable about themselves.

You Are Perfect. Relax.

The age you are right now, at this very moment, is perfect. Speak your age and do it proudly. It’s better (and far more attractive) to be the woman who admits her age easily and happily, rather than the insecure, unhappy woman who’s hiding it under the rug. A man doesn’t really care how old or young you are. What he cares the most about is how you feel about yourself and the effort you put in to taking care of your mind, body and spirit.

Know that there is always a woman younger or older than you, who unfortunately may be worrying about the same thing. And as we already know, worry gets us nowhere. Continue your journey of self exploration because you’re never too young or old to grow in new ways. Every day you are getting smarter, more comfortable with who you are, and more in touch with what will make you happy in life.

Life is not a race, and even if it were, looking in the rear view mirror would only slow you down.

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

Leave Your Comment:

Or Comment Via Facebook: