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How Important Is Chemistry?

What are the ingredients for love? Is it possible for a relationship to bloom if the chemistry isn’t there? That’s Shannon’s question:

April, I have a very quick question. I met someone who is great. I love everything about him — except his appearance. I don’t feel physically attracted to him, and he’s short. I am sure this sounds superficial, but it’s the way I feel. However, I know that as we age, looks can fade.

I want to give this guy a chance, because I do love everything about the person he is. Do you believe it is possible to have a great relationship with someone you’re not physically attracted to? Thank you so much!

Shannon, I appreciate your willingness to explore this relationship. It’s clear that you have your priorities in the right order and have a strong desire to have love in your life. Good for you!

However, relationships can only survive when there’s both emotional and physical chemistry. Otherwise, every nice guy to come along who shares your interests would be your boyfriend. The physical aspect is an important deciding factor of whether or not you should continue to see this man. You say that he’s not physically attractive and short. But, this is just your opinion. I guarantee you there’s a woman out there right now who will love everything about him — yes, even his height.

Superficial. To be or Not to Be.

You fear looking or sounding superficial but consider that it’s deeper than that. Attraction and chemistry are also biological, and can’t be reduced to a look or height. Otherwise, love would just be for the pretty, handsome and the tall. I’m 5’8″ and was once completely infatuated with a man who stood about 5’5″. His energy, voice, humor, personality outshone our height difference.

Father Time

Yes, time spent with someone can actually create attraction. And yes, looks fade with time. But, any happily married couple will tell you that there was once a great physical connection.

My advice to you is to stay open to meeting other men. Think about all the things you love about this man and make it your guide to follow. This lovely man in your life needs his lady to find him attractive. You’re not doing him any favors by pushing yourself to feel something you don’t. Your guy is still out there!

I hope this was helpful. Just know that you’re not alone. Everyone reading this blog has been in your shoes and had to make a decision to break up with a man even though she thought he was amazing. Help us out here ladies. Share your comments!

Much love,

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