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Is Your Wing Girl Also Your Competition?

There are so many wonderful women out there, all interested in meeting an exceptional man. What if one of those wonderful women is also your wing woman? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Dear April, I’ve heard you talk about the importance of having a great wing girl. I have a fantastic friend I go out with often. There’s only one problem. We are so much alike!

We’re both 33 years old, professional, educated, we share the same interests (golf, yoga and tennis) and to top it all off, we are both brunette, slender and 5”8”. People are constantly asking us if we’re sisters. My question is: If your wing girl is very similar to you, can it create too much competition? How would a guy know the difference if he met us both at the same time?

GREAT question Marie!

I was just talking about this last week in my office. I had interviewed a great gal who then went to tell her friend about our meeting, not knowing this friend would contact me as well. This caused upset between the friends due to the fear of competition. But, the fear was unfounded and based in superficiality.

If you put their profiles side by side, they would appear like the same girl. Therefore, I should be able to match both girls with the same guy right?


First, let’s give men a bit more credit. There is so much more to you than your looks, education, career, and interests. I think we can all agree on that. You’re assuming that all men are superficial and only look at women in a one dimensional way. Remember, I only deal with men who are not only highly educated and wildly successful, but they’re also good men. They’re mature, emotionally hip and yes, believe it or not, very intuitive and perceptive.

Therefore, I won’t be giving you run of the mill advice, such as advice on what “players” and “boys” are doing. I’ll leave that up to other coaches who focus on that world. Nothing wrong with that, I’m just operating in a different field. The field you want to run and play in.

So here’s my advice.

Trust that men can see you. The authentic you. They see the way your eyes dance, the smile that comes from your inner joy, the values your parents gave you, your grace, humor, the way you move. You and your friend may resemble one another but I can assure you it’s impossible that the same man could love both of you.

We are all unique and different with a different story to tell. Your story is your own. Your journey cannot be duplicated. Above all, trust that men are smart enough to know the difference and can see beyond your physical presence. Yes, even from across the room in a crowded restaurant.

Much love,

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