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Barely More Than a Booty Call? Time To Fix That!

Interesting question this week from Terry, who wonders why her current but new relationship is moving so slowly:

I’m dating a guy who is a Taurus. Curious if you know if they tend to take their time? He tells me he’s not dating anyone else and I want to believe him. We’ve been dating for 3 months and still only seeing each other once a week for dinner, movie and sex. He does not communicate with me during the week except to set up our one date. Last week I told him I was ready for more but he responded that he wanted to take it slow. I feel like a once a week booty call! Help!

Terry, I’m a May 5th baby, which makes me a Taurus. I can tell you that when it comes to matters of the heart, there isn’t any sign in the Zodiac (especially a Taurus) that dictates how slowly or quickly one will move into a relationship. If he has told you this, then it’s an excuse and nothing more.

Here’s my question to YOU:

Why aren’t you trusting your instincts? You mention in your email to me how you’re feeling unhappy with the situation. Why isn’t that enough?

My point is: you already know that seeing this man once a week for 3 months isn’t cutting it for you. Deep down, you know he’s not capable of giving you what you need. If he did want to see you more, don’t you think he would?

Everyone in this life does exactly what they want. You asking for more at this point is not likely to change much about the situation. Because, to this man, once a week is sufficient. You have dinner, see a movie and end up in bed. You’re not as much of a booty call (because there’s at least dinner and a film prior, so he is spending some time with you) as you are a simple convenience. It doesn’t matter why he doesn’t see you more. It only matters that he doesn’t. Is he seeing someone else? Does he just not need more than once a week? Is he a loner? Does he like to take things slowly? Is he too busy and stressed at work?

WHO CARES?

All that matters is you.

Your job is not to unpack the why. Your job is to have a clear picture of what you want and need, and then to have enough self-respect to be the woman who won’t settle for less than that. Right now you aren’t listening to your own intuition. You don’t feel comfortable with this arrangement; it doesn’t make you feel good. You’d like more partnership from a man, yes?

If so, keep moving. Find the man who aligns with your personal wants and needs. Remember, I work with relationship minded men every day. When they meet a woman they’re interested in, they make sure they see her as much as possible. Don’t waste your time trying to turn this non-relationship into more. Put your valuable time and energy into a more productive, and satisfying relationship. This one, I’m sorry to say, is most likely not going to change.

Have a story?

If you’ve been in this same situation (as I know so many women have) please post your comments below. I’d love to know how you were able to transition away from a relationship that just wasn’t moving in the right direction.

Thanks for your question Terry. It’s more common than you know!

Much Love and see you all next Wednesday.

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