What are you up to this weekend?
My husband and I are spending time with friends and finishing up a few projects. I met my husband at a dear friend’s house 5 years ago. However, my friends didn’t actually introduce us. He was at their house for a cocktail gathering and when I rang the doorbell, he answered the door. It was that simple.
One week later we were inseparable.
My friends were surprised by our connection because they had known both of us for a few years but had never thought of introducing us. My girlfriend said she didn’t know him that well. He was a friend of her husband, and Todd (my now husband) was a bit on the quiet side, so she never got a sense of his personality. I was outgoing and social, so she just didn’t see it. (Not to mention, we were both dating someone else for a long period of time, so of course no one was thinking of introducing us.)
Interestingly enough, Todd and I later learned that we both attended several parties our friends hosted and never noticed one another. There we were, standing in the same room but we never met.
When we started dating, the connection was obvious right away. I knew Todd would be my future from our very first date.
Isn’t it interesting that our close friends — who supposedly knew us both really well — never thought of putting us together? The point is, your friends love you but let’s face it, they’re busy running their own lives. It may not occur to them to make an introduction. And on top of that: they may not know you as well as they think they do!
Here’s a question for you:
How well do your friends know you? After all, my friends thought they knew me but when I started dating Todd they were surprised that we were such a great match. Are your friends assuming they already know what your type is? Are they afraid to connect you with someone because they think you have a lot of rules and are going to be upset with them if nothing comes out of it?
I want you to ask three friends (male or female) to introduce you to someone. Talk to them THIS weekend and tell them you’re open and willing to meet someone new, and ask if they have a great single guy friend who might be interested in meeting you.
Here’s how you’re going to do this:
1. Identify three friends from completely different circles. For example: a girlfriend, a guy friend and then perhaps someone from your gym, church, your yoga class or even a cousin who you only see once a year. The idea is to get out of your really close circles and expand your network.
2. Tell your three friends that you’re totally open to meeting someone new and if they think of a single guy they like, you would love for them to think of you.
3. Explain they don’t need to be amateur Matchmakers. You’re not looking to them to plan your future. You’re simply asking for them to make a connection, and you’ll take care of the rest.
4. Tell them you don’t have a “type.” You just want to meet someone new. If you give your friends a list or too many rules, this is NEVER going to happen. You can figure out the rest later. (And, if you’re too busy to have a drink or dinner with someone then you shouldn’t be dating and you’re not as ready as you think you are. No short cuts people!)
5. Thank your friends, tell them you appreciate the thought and give them your number. These are three people you like and trust. Don’t put them on the spot or give them too much work to do — just be easy and breezy and let them know you’re happy to meet anyone they think is interesting.
Okay, that’s it! Get back to me after the weekend. This is going to take some thought. Remember, don’t ask just the friends that are closest to you. This assignment is about expanding your network and reaching beyond your circle.
Oh, and if you’re worried about appearing desperate – don’t. It’s all in HOW you ask. Your tone should be casual, simple and straightforward. Think of it like business. If you need a business contact, you’re not afraid to ask. Right? Well, this is no different!
Now go have a fabulous weekend and have fun with this! Come back to this blog and let me know your thoughts, questions and share how this is working for you.