Matchmaking is a nerve-wracking job! I never tell anyone this, because we all want our public image to be seamless, and the world to think we’ve got everything under control, right? Here’s the problem with not sharing our truth or “real” selves: when no one knows what your needs are, no one shows up to help you! That’s true in life, work and love.
Today, instead of my usual One-to-One approach, I want to show up to help you on a broader level. Do any of these questions sound familiar to you?
Why do I keep attracting men who aren’t ready for a relationship?
How do I know if I should call him back when I haven’t heard from him?
How do I know if he’s the one?
Am I too old to find love? Have I missed my window of opportunity?
Are men intimidated by me because I’m smart and successful?
How long should I wait before sex?
How can I get a man to ask me out?
He’s gone cold. What happened?
I feel like I’m compromising my values. What do I do?
How do I flirt or show a man I’m interested?
If so, keep reading.
But first, here’s my truth:
I’m a great Matchmaker, and I’m proud of that. I can spot the perfect match for someone within just a few moments. I’m intuitive, smart and skilled in my profession. People put a lot of trust, money and faith into my services. And yet, even with all my talent, I’m not always successful with my clients. Matchmaking is a flawed and imperfect science. Why? Because we, as human beings, are all flawed and perfectly imperfect.
I meet attractive, educated, fit, interesting and loving women every week in my office. Most of them tell me they’re ready to meet a perfect guy and settle down, but more than ninety percent of the time, their lifestyle and choices show me otherwise. Even the smartest of them (yes, even PhDs, and beautiful, model-looking Harvard grads) aren’t ready for the ultimate relationship.
These women are interested in being matched, and they may be ready to date, but the kind of readiness I’m talking about requires a strong look within, and a keen self-awareness, mindset and perception. It’s with this that their framing is off. It’s like having the camera out of focus and expecting pretty pictures.
It frustrates me for a combination of selfish and altruistic reasons. Of course, I want my Matchmaking clients to find the woman of their dreams, stop dating and get married. But I also believe that women have absorbed so much bad information that it’s causing them to fail to connect, and that’s getting in the way of their happiness.
After fifteen years, I’ve become resigned to the inevitable news I’ll get on my Monday morning feedback calls, when my male clients will tell me the woman I introduced them to “just didn’t get it” or was “smart and very attractive, but I couldn’t connect with her except about our common interests.”
The unfortunate result? No second dates. No matter how hard I push or tell them how wonderful she is when “you really get to know her.”
Am I Just Blaming Women?
No. I’m being straight with you, because you’re smart, and women as a whole are incredibly intuitive and powerful. Men are simply waiting on you to show them how to treat and court you, which you absolutely cannot do if you don’t have the skills or self-knowledge.
The Way You Think is Holding You Back.
Here’s what I’ve witnessed over and over: most women are great people but they’re following a set of rules they’ve read in a book or a magazine somewhere, or heard online from some “dating coach” marketer who sells seminar after seminar, and much of the time they don’t even realize they’re doing it! These rules don’t work. I can put the perfect match together, but if a woman is still attracted to the wrong guy, holding back, relying on gimmicks or if her thinking and perception is off, my lovely introduction won’t stand a chance.
Let’s Be Honest.
Unless you have done the work on yourself, you’re not going to succeed at love. You just won’t.
So here’s how I want to help you. I’ve lost count of the thousands of emails and Facebook questions I get each month asking me “hair on fire,” situational and reactive questions that could easily be remedied with a better foundation of understanding, formed long before meeting someone.
Remember those questions at the top of this post? Those are the kind of questions I’m talking about. Here’s the most popular: “Where are all the men who want to be married?”
You don’t have to be that person. Don’t be the one who relies on asking questions about little moment-to-moment problems. That’s not enough for you. You deserve more.
This is the entire reason why I created my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ Audio Series! To help you have the answers, know yourself, and be able to solve these issues from within.
I know first-hand what the missing pieces are, and I want to help you put them in place. I know (because I’ve done it for so many) that every woman can learn to date from a smarter place within herself, get centered and clear on what she wants, and develop the skills to manifest it.
So here’s my heartfelt plea to you. Invest in yourself. Learn how to show and share your truth and your REAL self with everyone you meet. Every day.
If you need advice on how to get there and clarity about your choices, then I urge you to take advantage of my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ Audio Series. It’s the audio material my in-depth course is based on, and covers everything you need to know about how you’re being perceived, what men will find appealing about you, how to stand up and make more solid choices in partners, and how to effectively and powerfully communicate your wants and needs by simply being the woman that you are right now.
TAKE $20 OFF (through January 4th, 2014)
As a special HOLIDAY GIFT, I’m offering you $20 off the usual price. Just click here to listen to a preview of the audio, and then enter LOVE2014 at checkout.
I’m here to help you. Are you joining me?