This week we hear from Lori, who worries she doesn’t have the skills she needs to find the partner she really wants.
I used to be very religious and believe that the man should pursue the woman. So, I waited and waited. Now, I’m in my late 30’s and I want someone to share my life with. I don’t know how to tell if a guy likes me or how to let someone know I’m interested. I don’t want to seem desperate. I’m REALLY bad at dropping hints and I want to be pursued. Help me, April. I don’t want to be single forever.
Lori, I can tell you’re frustrated so my first piece of advice is to take a deep breath. I know you’re feeling panicked but this won’t serve you and will certainly not help you choose the right man. First of all, love does not know age. I’ve introduced hundreds of couples of all ages and the best part is that it feels the same for everyone. Please stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You have your own timing and readiness.
A Few Things To Keep In Mind
1. Update your perspective
You have an old belief that a man should pursue a woman but that doesn’t mean you should be passively “waiting.” My guess is that you’ve been confused, so you aren’t being proactive enough with your personal life. If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I’m old school about courtship, but I’m also the first one to say that every quality, relationship ready man needs a woman who knows how to participate and show interest in him.
2. Relax. Your job is easy.
Provided you know how to be approachable, you have nothing to worry about. If a man is interested, he’s going to find a way to meet you and ask you out. No need to “drop hints” here! You’re allowing your confusion to rule your behavior instead of choosing to trust your instincts.
3. Redefine “desperate.”
Desperate women hunt men down and put their own feelings, morals, values and principles aside just to be with a man. You won’t be considered desperate simply by smiling, saying hello and enjoying conversations with the men you meet.
Have you been participating in my Friday Takeaways? This is a weekly feature designed to get you out and meeting men. This month we’ll be taking a look at eight great questions to ask on a date. Some of these could also come in handy as ice breakers.
Finally, Lori, I should mention that I teach all of the above skills and much, much more in my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ Course beginning this March. I think you will greatly benefit, as I created it for women just like yourself! I hope you’ll consider joining us.