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Who You’ve Become Isn’t All That You Are. There’s a Difference.

I love this time in history. Women are so empowered and really leading incredible lives. Every day I sit down with women for our intimate conversations and I’m often blown away by how much they have going for them. Most of the time I finish a meeting thinking, “Wow. I’m super busy and I’m not even doing half of the fascinating things she’s doing! How does she do it and handle it all with such ease?”

I received an email from a woman named Linda who’s been following me for a while, and I wanted to share it with you:

I feel like I’m in a great place in my life. I’m 35, love my career and friends, I volunteer my time to charities, I stay in incredible shape and have developed myself as a woman on just about every level. I’ve been putting myself out there online and through other avenues. I don’t have a problem meeting or dating men, there’s just a lack of quality men.

I have a lot to offer someone, and I get frustrated that women are always the one’s who have to do so much self-improvement to discover why we aren’t meeting Mr. Wonderful. Like it’s all our fault. Why is this? In my opinion, there are amazing women out there, and not enough great guys to match us and what we bring to the table. Would love your take on this.

Linda, great comment and I must say, a very popular one. There’s a reason why I get this question so often.

Most of the women I meet, no matter how fantastic, believe the only issue they have is not meeting someone of quality. I can tell you that 99% of the time, that’s not the case. So many women tell me they are ready, but are surprised when I point out how their choices in men, misconceptions and confusion show me otherwise.

It comes from years of meeting singles and creating dates, relationships and marriages that I’m able to pinpoint what’s really going on for each individual, and why this is happening on a broader scale. I’ll explain.

Much gets lost in our current world of ambition, getting in shape, getting ahead and getting involved. In pursuing what we’ve decided we want to be, we tend to neglect the subtle nuances that make us who we truly are, and ultimately, what attracts the quality men we want to meet and fall in love with.

So it’s not about changing who you are or telling you you’re wrong. I don’t like that kind of negative, superficial “advice” either. My goal and passion is to teach women to be more of who they already are, and to become aware of the “authentic self” they have perhaps forgotten along the way.

If I thought most men would take my courses or read dating and relationship books, I would create something for them. But, that’s not the case for the majority of the population. It’s because I know how powerful, smart, inspiring and influential women are, that I teach them how to have a better awareness of themselves and the men around them. Women are teachers in the world of relationships and to be honest, men are waiting for us to show them the way.

Thanks for your question, Linda. I hope you’ll continue to explore this part of your journey, and always have the spirit to continue to grow. Keep going!

Much love,

April Beyer Signature

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